A death in the family:
So Much to Learn Here……
So Much to Learn Here……
Sibling Loss;A sister s journey.....
Sibling Loss is not a book you read at a dispassionate
distance. It is not for you if you choose to avoid facing your losses, not
unless you become willing to turn around and face yourself. The reading is a
deeply personal encounter with Laura, as she lays bare the unspeakable tragedy
of the death of her beloved brother. As you encounter Laura, the mirror she
offers will draw you in to the journey inside your own broken heart. The
courage this journey requires is more than worth the investment.
For the first couple chapters, as she gives narrative detail to the family history of both her parents, the tragedy in her lineage is intellectually interesting. I found myself following the details with no emotional engagement. This continued as she moved the narrative through her early childhood with her three brothers. I was impressed with the intricate depth of detail that gave such insightful clarity to the family relational dynamics. I was not aware that I was guarding myself from getting emotionally involved – until the tragedy happened.
All my defenses fell, my heart broke open, tears flowed, as Laura described the sudden senseless loss of the one person most dear to her – and I have never lost a sib! I have, however, lost dependable love in childhood. As my own deep losses resonated with her, I noticed myself with a sense of awe at the clarity of her awareness in the midst of unbearable tragedy. I wanted to turn away from such a fierce confrontation with reality. I did not. I am a therapist used to choosing to stay with others in their pain, even when, especially when, it awakens mine.
I stayed with Laura, horrified and fascinated, in the grip of her relentless narrative. The gut wrenching loss wreaked havoc in each of the already struggling family relationships, stretching them taut, to the point of breaking. It is part of the wonder of Laura’s experience that these relationships never did break, at least not irreparably. Though everyone was shattered beyond their ability to cope, though fear and anger, and anguished abandonment overwhelmed each family member, some unshakeable bond lasted. There is so much to learn here about longing for love, losing love, and searching for it unwaveringly. This is the thread weaving Laura’s narrative. It is at the archetypal core of each journey through life, love lost and found.
Laura fights her way through recurrent relationships, with nothing working out, as long as her lost brother looms ever present. This leads to recurrent losses, of love seemingly found only to be lost again, of heartbreak – and of opportunity to grieve, and to learn. The fierce resilience at Laura’s core is a marvel to behold, and hopefully to remember or discover inside oneself. Her search for healing eventually took her to a retreat weekend with The Rothman Cole Center for Sibling Loss (which eventually became the Center for Grief Recovery where I now work). This experience became the turning point as she found the support she needed to work through her grief.
Laura’s story is a testament to the value of the journey of grief recovery. It is a searing path, cutting through deep dark passages. The road leads through increasing wisdom in accepting how inherently loss is at the heart of life. Laura makes it clear that fully grieving the loss of love brings one to a new home, a renewed discovery of love, a love strong enough and wise enough to walk through each new loss with durable, irrepressible grace. Thank you Laura.
I you ve eperienced a death in the family: this is the book you want to read to see the impact on all members and their evolution, especially if it's the death of a brother or sister in youth.
amzn.to/2X8YNJZ
For the first couple chapters, as she gives narrative detail to the family history of both her parents, the tragedy in her lineage is intellectually interesting. I found myself following the details with no emotional engagement. This continued as she moved the narrative through her early childhood with her three brothers. I was impressed with the intricate depth of detail that gave such insightful clarity to the family relational dynamics. I was not aware that I was guarding myself from getting emotionally involved – until the tragedy happened.
All my defenses fell, my heart broke open, tears flowed, as Laura described the sudden senseless loss of the one person most dear to her – and I have never lost a sib! I have, however, lost dependable love in childhood. As my own deep losses resonated with her, I noticed myself with a sense of awe at the clarity of her awareness in the midst of unbearable tragedy. I wanted to turn away from such a fierce confrontation with reality. I did not. I am a therapist used to choosing to stay with others in their pain, even when, especially when, it awakens mine.
I stayed with Laura, horrified and fascinated, in the grip of her relentless narrative. The gut wrenching loss wreaked havoc in each of the already struggling family relationships, stretching them taut, to the point of breaking. It is part of the wonder of Laura’s experience that these relationships never did break, at least not irreparably. Though everyone was shattered beyond their ability to cope, though fear and anger, and anguished abandonment overwhelmed each family member, some unshakeable bond lasted. There is so much to learn here about longing for love, losing love, and searching for it unwaveringly. This is the thread weaving Laura’s narrative. It is at the archetypal core of each journey through life, love lost and found.
Laura fights her way through recurrent relationships, with nothing working out, as long as her lost brother looms ever present. This leads to recurrent losses, of love seemingly found only to be lost again, of heartbreak – and of opportunity to grieve, and to learn. The fierce resilience at Laura’s core is a marvel to behold, and hopefully to remember or discover inside oneself. Her search for healing eventually took her to a retreat weekend with The Rothman Cole Center for Sibling Loss (which eventually became the Center for Grief Recovery where I now work). This experience became the turning point as she found the support she needed to work through her grief.
Laura’s story is a testament to the value of the journey of grief recovery. It is a searing path, cutting through deep dark passages. The road leads through increasing wisdom in accepting how inherently loss is at the heart of life. Laura makes it clear that fully grieving the loss of love brings one to a new home, a renewed discovery of love, a love strong enough and wise enough to walk through each new loss with durable, irrepressible grace. Thank you Laura.
I you ve eperienced a death in the family: this is the book you want to read to see the impact on all members and their evolution, especially if it's the death of a brother or sister in youth.
amzn.to/2X8YNJZ
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