Monday, January 27, 2020
A death in the family-montreal author Laura Prince offers words of wisdom ffor Canadians affected by Iranian aircraft tragedy-bit.ly/2GkNRRJ
A death in the family-montreal author Laura Prince offers words of wisdom ffor Canadians affected by Iranian aircraft tragedy-bit.ly/2GkNRRJ
Wednesday, January 15, 2020
The Mourner’s Bill of Rights
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The Mourner’s Bill of Rights
The Mourner’s Bill of Rights by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
Though you should reach out to others as you do the work of
mourning, you should not feel obligated to accept the unhelpful responses you
may receive from some people. You are the one who is grieving, and as such, you
have certain “rights” no one should try to take away from you. The following
list is intended both to empower you to heal and to decide how others can and
cannot help. This is not to discourage you from reaching out to others for
help, but rather to assist you in distinguishing useful responses from hurtful
ones.
1. You have the right to experience your own
unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you
do. So, when you turn to others for help, don’t allow them to tell what you
should or should not be feeling.
2. You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking
about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk
as much as you want, as often as you want, about your grief. If at times you
don’t feel like talking, you also have the right to be silent.
3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions. Confusion,
disorientation, fear, guilt and relief are just a few of the emotions you might
feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeling
angry, for example, is wrong. Don’t take these judgmental responses to heart.
Instead, find listeners who will accept your feelings without condition.
4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and
emotional limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you
feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily
rest. Eat balanced meals. And don’t allow others to push you into doing things
you don’t feel ready to do.
5. You have the right to experience “grief bursts.” Sometimes,
out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be
frightening, but is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will
let you talk it out.
6. You have the right to make use of ritual. The
funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone loved. It helps
provide you with the support of caring people. More importantly, the funeral is
a way for you to mourn. If others tell you the funeral or other healing rituals
such as these are silly or unnecessary, don’t listen.
7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality.
If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you.
Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious
beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won’t be
critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.
8. You have the right to search for meaning. You may
find yourself asking “Why did he or she die? Why this way? Why now?” Some of
your questions may have answers, but some may not. And watch out for the
clichéd responses some people may give you. Comments like “It was God’s will”
or “Think of what you have to be thankful for” are not helpful and you do not
have to accept them.
9. You have the right to treasure your memories.
Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone
loved. You will always remember. Instead of ignoring your memories, find others
with whom you can share them.
10. You have the right to move toward your grief and
heal.Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a
process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people
who are impatient and intolerant with you. Neither you nor those around you
must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever.
A Death in the Family: Sibling Loss, a sisters journey; NEWS PIECE
A Death In The Family: Sibling Loss, A Sister's Journey From Despair To Celebration, Offers Hope To Readers Dealing With The Loss Of A Sibling
Laura Prince's new book detailing the death of her brother has been called "insightful", "powerful" "vivid" "absorbing" and spellbinding.
[Wilmington, NC, January 13 2020] A death in the family is devastating. The loss of a child even more so. Not surprisingly, when a child is lost, we naturally want to console the parents of that child. What we often fail to notice is the effect the death of a child has on the other children in the family. The surviving children must deal with issues that are unique, potentially life-shattering and long lasting. Fear, anxiety, guilt and a host of other challenges can overwhelm young people who are unlikely to be prepared to face such a crippling event.
Laura Prince's new book, 'Sibling Loss, A Sister's Journey from Despair To Celebration', is a first-person account of the crushing effect the death of her brother, had on her life. Prince shares her decades-long process of healing that is, as she claims, a lifelong struggle. Nevertheless it is a book that offers hope. Prince openly and candidly examines the pitfalls and surprising triumphs of grieving. She offers readers a window into her world and allows us to share in her sadness, and in the eventual celebration of her brother as she slowly works her way into a place of quiet joy and gratitude.
“I’ve learned that without a huge and continued effort to heal from life’s upheavals, many crises can never produce healing. Recovering from enormous trauma, as in the sudden accidental death of my brother Mathew, became a kind of life ‘endeavor’ of mine.
"I’ve been blessed with the ability to write, and therefore could share my story with you, so that you, the reader, can be inspired to overcome your grief as well. Writing ‘Sibling Loss’ has been a huge part of my spiritual journey to finally be able to celebrate Mathew’s short but beautiful life.”
Readers and reviewers alike have praised Sibling Loss. One called it "The best story illustrating the long term consequences of unresolved childhood grief that I have seen." Another said, "Sibling Loss: A Sister's Journey from Despair to Celebration is an excellent read and one I would recommend to everyone."
Allan Schnarr, of the Center for Grief Recovery in Chicago said, "Sibling Loss is not a book you read at a dispassionate distance. It is not for you if you choose to avoid facing your losses, not unless you become willing to turn around and face yourself. The reading is a deeply personal encounter with Laura, as she lays bare the unspeakable tragedy of the death of her beloved brother. As you encounter Laura, the mirror she offers will draw you in to the journey inside your own broken heart . . .There is so much to learn here about longing for love, losing love, and searching for it unwaveringly. This is the thread weaving Laura’s narrative. It is at the archetypal core of each journey through life, love lost and found.
"Laura makes it clear that fully grieving the loss of love brings one to a new home, a renewed discovery of love, a love strong enough and wise enough to walk through each new loss with durable, irrepressible grace. Thank you Laura”
Laura’s story, 'Sibling Loss, A Sister's Journey from Despair to Celebration', is a book that would be appropriate for anyone who has ever lost, or will ever lose a sibling. That would be nearly all of us.
Laura Prince is available for media interviews and can be reached by email at laura.prince.book@gmail.com or by using the information below. The book is available at Amazon. More information is available at Prince's website at http://www.siblinglossbook.blogspot.com.
About Laura Prince:
Laura Prince is both an author and the creator and manager of a symphony orchestra. Sibling Loss, A Sister's Journey from Despair to Celebration is her first book. She resides in Canada.
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